Principle of spiritual success 3

DAY THREE

Inner conflicts based on beliefs that you will not be able to achieve your goal are most important blocks for its achievement. In this lesson you will learn how to effectively resolve these.

The exercise we will use for resolution of these inner conflicts is not the same technique I use in the QUICK GOALS system, but is very effective and very simple.

It really works.

Do this exercise, and you will be amazed by the results after you do it only a few times.

I have used this technique with the great results myself, and have witnessed dozens of my clients achieve their goals with its help. This technique has few simple steps which are done in sequence until the resolution of your inner conflict:

STEP 1:

First step is to find the conflict you want to work on.

Easiest way to do so is to ask yourself “Am I completely sure that I will achieve my goal before...” (here you should write the deadline for achievement you have set in point 2 of DAY1).

This almost certainly won’t be true at the beginning of the process.

Pay attention to your reason for not being certain. What is your inner explanation about the reason you expect to fail? (For example, if your goal is to find a new job, possible answers could be: “It’s global economic crisis, and jobs are scarce.” Or: “I am so unlucky, good things don’t happen to me. Or: “I don’t have right education. It’s impossible to find a good job with my education." )

Anyway, your feeling of doubt about your goal is based on some inner content that “shows” you that you will not be able to achieve your goal, and this is the conflict we are looking for.

STEP 2:

Experience the negative emotion you have found in the first step.

(For example, if your answer was that you are unlucky, just feel and experience this truth of yours, feel that you are unlucky for a few seconds. If your answer was that you can’t find a job because of economic crises, just feel that you cant achieve your goal because there is economic crises. And so on).

STEP 3:

Allow yourself to have this negative emotion.

This step may feel little strange at first. It means that you let yourself experience this negative emotion. To not-resist it. To allow it to be the true in your reality. Just assume “not resisting” attitude toward this truth the best way you can.

STEP 4:

Note that you love yourself although you feel that negative emotion.

(One of the main reasons why negative beliefs or emotions persist is our resistance toward them. Because of that we reject parts of our being, and that creates inner conflicts).

STEP 5:

Notice the partial giving up of the goal that exists with your negative feeling.

The main problem (in regard to your goal) is not the negative feeling you have, but the act of “retreating” from your goal because of that negative element of your reality. For example, you have feeling that you are unlucky, but the main problem is the feeling that you can’t achieve your goal because you are unlucky, and mental withdrawal from your goal. Instead of orientation toward it (that you had at the beginning), you felt that you are unlucky, decided you can’t have your goal and withdrew from your it.

STEP 6:

Notice that you want to have your goal despite this negative emotion/belief.

(For example, if your emotion was that you are unlucky, just notice that you still want to have your goal, even though you are unlucky. If belief was that you won’t be able to find a job because of economic crises, just recognize that you want to have your goal, although there is economic crises (you still want it, don’t you? :-).

Most of negative feelings will disappear after this process. For those more persistent, you will notice that they gradually fade, and as you repeat this process in next few days, even persistent ones will completely disappear, and you will notice that you became truly confident in achievement of your goal.

There are few really good reasons why this process works, but they are beyond the scope of this Free course. Main thing to understand here is that at the beginning, negative belief or emotion makes you withdraw from your goal (“I can’t achieve my goal because I am unlucky”), and in the course of this process you re-establish your orientation toward your goal (“Even though I might be unlucky, I still want to achieve my goal”)

You should also understand that you don’t need to do all these steps perfectly (for example, you might not be fully satisfied how you did “allow yourself to feel this negative emotion” (STEP 3). But don’t worry about it. Just do it the best you can. Try to feel it and assume “non-resisting” attitude toward that truth the best way you can. With the time you will be able to notice the difference of your attitude before and after you do this step.

EXAMPLE:

Let’s stick with the client from example I gave you in the Day 1 lesson. His goal was to create his own business that will earn him at least $5000 a month (with other additional characteristics we have seen in Day 1 lesson).

STEP 1:

He asked himself “Am I completely sure that I will achieve my goal before...”

ANSWER: “No I am not sure. I feel that I may fail with it, and then regret quitting my current job.”

STEP 2:

Experience the negative emotion you have found in the first step.

He felt that he could fail and later regret quitting his job. Then he experienced it (felt it) the best he could.

STEP 3:

Allow yourself to have this negative emotion.

He felt this emotion and let this emotion exist in his reality (he assumed an attitude of non-resistance toward possibility of failing).

STEP 4:

Note that you love yourself although you feel that negative emotion.

He noticed that. He realized that he really love himself, although he has this emotion.

STEP 5:

Notice the partial giving up of the goal that exists with your negative feeling.

He noticed that. He realized that this is not just “possibility of failure”, but withdrawing from his goal because of “possibility of failure and regret”

STEP 6:

Notice that you want to have your goal despite this negative emotion/belief.

He realized that he really want to has his goal, although the possibility of failure (and the regret) exists. He also realized that if he is open and truthful, and if he behaves correctly, he might be able to keep open the option for getting his job back if the need arises.

When he paid attention to his goal again, he still wasn’t confident that he will achieve it before the deadline he set up. So he repeated the process.

Second negative emotion was that if he try to create his business and fail, he could lose family savings, and endanger his family.

STEP 2:

Experience the negative emotion you have found in the first step.

He experienced (felt) that it’s possible to loose all family savings if he fail in his project.

STEP 3:

Allow yourself to have this negative emotion.

He felt this emotion and let this emotion exist in his reality (he assumed an attitude of non-resistance toward possibility of failing and loosing family savings).

STEP 4:

Note that you love yourself although you feel that negative emotion.

He noticed that. He realized that he really love himself, although he feels that there is a possibility to fail and loose family savings.

STEP 5:

Notice the partial giving up of the goal that exists with your negative feeling.

He noticed that. He realized that this is not just “possibility of failure and loss of family savings”, but withdrawing from his goal because of “possibility of the loss of family savings”.

STEP 6:

Notice that you want to have your goal despite this negative emotion/belief.

He realized that he really want to has his goal, although there is the possibility of failure (and the loss of family savings). He also realized how to develop his business gradually without using the main part of family savings.

After that, this client have noticed (and resolved with this process) 5 further negative emotions, and finished this process with the great enthusiasm and confidence for working on his goal.

Negative feelings/beliefs he found during this process were:

• I am not a person for whom it’s natural to own his own company.
• People (and my friends) could regard me as a arrogant and presumptuous if I am to own a successful company.
• I am lazy. I will not do all things that are necessary for success.
• Maybe some things that don’t depend on me will develop badly, so I will be forced to quit and ask for my old job.
• Customers won’t come to work with my company. I am too modest and honest and you need to advertize and present yourself in unrealistic manner (lying) to really succeed.

He did this process three days in a row (30-40 minutes each session) and finished it full of enthusiasm and confidence, as well as specific ideas about how to achieve his goal.

Do yourself a favor and do this process few days in a row (or until you get into the state of full confidence that you will achieve your goal). Any further work on your goal (and following exercises from this course) will flow easily, once you complete this process.

REMARK ABOUT USING THIS PROCESS

After every pass trough this process you will feel the difference in your attitude. You will probably not feel 100% confident about your goal after one process, but you will be able to notice significant shift in your feelings toward your goal. Just do this process the best you can, and notice changes in your confidence and attitude toward goal.

REMEMBER FROM THIS CHAPTER:

• Most damaging inner conflicts you have connected to your goals are those connected to the feeling that you will not be able to achieve it.
• This feeling makes you give up easily, and make you unmotivated to take actions necessary for achievement of your goal. (If you will fail in the end why should you bother taking actions, right?)
• All negative feelings and beliefs about failing your goal will surface when you ask yourself if you are really confident that you will achieve your goal.
• Determine how specifically you believe you will fail and go trough six steps of this process.
• Doing this process few days in the row will free you from all inner conflicts and will eliminate feeling that you won’t be able to achieve your goal. You will end up truly confident and ready to take all necessary actions for the achievement of your goal.

In the following lectures you will master the techniques which will help you determine your perfect way of achievement (way to achieve your goal which is in true harmony with all conscious and unconscious aspects of your being).

Day Four of Spiritual Effectiveness E-Course

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